There are days when we are happy to do what we always do, and there is a great blessing and gift in having a routine and living the day-to-day.
And there are days that I will call ‘motorcycle days’ after the term popped into my head this morning.
There are days when we can smile and feel that joy rising deep from within.
And there are days when we want to scream and rant and rave and cry and run away. And, when I saw a motorcycle on my way to work this morning, the idea returned to my mind – there are days when I just want to climb onto a motorcycle, my hair blowing in the wind, caution flying right behind it.
No fear. No anxiety.
No overthinking and overanalyzing. No real thinking, period. Just being.
No feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders for me to carry and resolve.
No words and feelings of worry clouding my mind or weighing down my heart.
No thoughts and images I’d rather not have cloud my mind.
No expectations. No judgments.
No hiding, no pretending, no putting on a mask.
No guilt. No uncertainty.
No throngs of opinions telling me how I should feel, what should matter to me or what I should do, even when they’re with the best of intentions.
No feeling lost or confused about what to do next.
No pain, no regret.
Just a sense of freedom, a sense of inner peace and comfort.
A time of truly being me.
A feeling of being wrapped in love from G-d and my fellow human beings.
A deep-rooted sense of faith.
A feeling of acceptance and belonging.
A serenity and tranquility that goes right to the core.
A knowing that G-d is with me at all times, that I am His daughter and He loves me and wants what is best for me at all times. And, more than that, that He is actively coordinating things for my ultimate benefit and good – and yours too – at all times. Even in those moments when I want to scream a scream so loud that it wakes up the world.
A scream so loud and primal and from my core that it threatens to leave me gasping for air.
A scream from so deep within that I feel it making its way through almost every part of my being.
A cry that rises from my heart, tearing forth from my soul.
A pang that leaves me wondering what on earth I am supposed to do now.
A feeling that I am being pulled in so many different directions all at once, leaving me feeling so stretched that I can hardly think straight.
So yes, some days are motorcycle days, whether I ever get on that motorcycle or not, whether I scream out loud or not.
On those days, our emotions need some kind of outlet, and ideally we find and choose a way that is both healthy and helpful.
And though I wrote these words without saying a word out loud, I feel like I have let out some of the emotion in my heart.
Thank you for ‘listening’ 😉
And I’d love to hear – How do you handle days where the emotion feels like it’s weighing you down so much that it threatens to drive you to your knees?